For Parents & Mentors

 

There’s a wide range of stories designed for teens and young adults. But some of it isn’t appropriate for Christian teens…or any reader. Sadly, there are times when the writing put out by “Christians” isn’t very godly. I’ve been personally disappointed many times. But I also acknowledge each person has a different view of what’s okay to read, and it’s unlikely my views align perfectly with anyone else’s. In the end, each person is accountable to God for what they allow into their mind and what they allow into the lives of the young adults God has placed in their sphere of influence.

 

My intent is to communicate where I stand on a number of aspects of literature so you can make an informed decision on whether my stories are a fit for you or the young adults in your life. And, as a Bible-believing follower of Christ, my basis is the word of God, which is sufficient to guide us in all areas of life (2 Tim. 3:16-17).



Foundationally

I write to strengthen believers in their faith. A key role of every believer is to build up other believers (Eph. 4:16) and make disciples (Matt. 28:19). One of the ways I seek to do this is through stories, using the same kind of suspenseful, page-turning reads that attracted me as a teen. Philosophically, it’s not about what isn’t in my stories—it’s what is.

 

What are some scriptures on words and thoughts?

  • We should speak truth, avoid corrupt words, and speak edification and grace. Eph. 4:25 and 29.
  • It’s shameful to speak of the works of darkness. Eph. 5:12
  • Don’t take God’s name in vain or swear. Ex. 20:7 and Matt. 5:33-37
  • We are responsible for what we do with tempting thoughts. James 1:13-14.
  • We should make sure our thoughts are obedient to Christ, and He gives us the weapons to do that. 2 Cor. 10:4-5.
  • Similarly, we are accountable for the words we speak. Matt. 12:36

 

So much of this goes back to what we put in our minds and allow to linger there. It’s reality that we live in a sinful world, but God gives us the ability to overcome and holds us accountable for our thoughts and actions.

 

Warning: I have opinions about the following areas, and you may not agree with me. That’s okay. My goal is to let you know why I do what I do so you’re better informed as to whether my writing is a good fit for the teens in your life.



Language

As already mentioned, we should not take God’s name in vain or swear (Ex. 20:7 and Matt. 5:33-37). The Bible also forbids “corrupt communication” (Eph. 4:29). I’m not a scholar, but I’ll go ahead and include other kinds of foul language in this category. You won’t find these in my stories. It’s possible I’ll very rarely include something like “he swore under his breath” (scripture does this on rare occasion, e.g., Mark 14:71), but I’m not a fan of that even. Because where do my thoughts go when I read a phrase like that, especially if those kind of indirect references keep coming up in a story? I start imagining the words themselves, and that’s not the kind of thoughts I want in my mind or want to put in others’ minds.



Violence

Some schools of thought say that if people are sheltered from violence they won’t learn to do it. That may be true to an extent. But the Bible also portrays some pretty violent acts, including one shortly after the Fall (Gen. 4:8). But what it doesn’t do is describe it in detail. For example, we aren’t told what it sounded like or looked like as David used Goliah’s sword to finish off the giant, or the details of Stephan’s death by stoning.

What about suspense and action? Where do we draw the line? My books are geared toward guys, and action and fighting often resonate with guys. There’s a reason many toddler boys are prone to sword fighting with whatever object they can get their hands on (stick, Lincoln Log, chicken finger, etc.), while many toddler girls prefer to cradle a baby doll. It’s like boys know at a young age they should be ready to fight and protect. (Biblical manhood is a discussion of its own that I won’t go into here but certainly have opinions about.)

The right approach, in my opinion, is to understand the time and place for violence, not completely avoid it. Each parent or mentor needs God’s wisdom to know how and when to teach such things to the teens in their life. But violence is a reality of life, and it’s foolish to think it’s simply the result of our society’s environment (that’s closer to Darwinian thinking than it is to the Bible’s teaching that all have sinned and that the world will have sin until Christ returns to earth and makes all things new).

So yes, there will be some “violence” in my stories. The good guys will defend themselves and stand up for what’s right. Villains will also use wrongful means to achieve their villainous goals. Depending on the story, battles may include swords, guns, explosions, fistfights, and so on. My characters will experience injuries and some will die. But what I won’t do—and don’t see the need to do—is tell the violence in all its gore. I don’t see the need to write about the sound of a knife being thrust into someone. I don’t see the need to give details of an ugly wound.



Modesty

Too often I started into a book that was supposedly clean, only to come to a description of a character’s dress (or lack of it) that triggered impure thoughts. Obviously, what’s considered modest varies from person to person. And as mentioned above regarding 2 Cor. 10:4-5, each person is responsible for their thoughts. But just as there are places in the physical realm that are wise to stay away from (example in Prov. 7:6-27), so there are places in the thought realm that we are wise to avoid. For young men, the area of immodesty can be especially tempting, even if it’s just words on a page.

My writing will play it pretty safe in this area. For example, there may be a time when a guy doesn’t have a shirt on, but it’ll be in contexts like swimming and not because he’s flirting with a girl. Nor will I include the romantic thoughts of a girl if she sees him in his swimsuit. I might mention a girl’s beautiful dress, but I’m not going to talk about the neckline or her figure. Again, consider what thoughts are healthy and edifying for Christian teens.



Relationships

I strongly feel that fiction is rarely the place to teach teenagers how to experience romantic thoughts. At the least, I don’t consider it my place to do it. In my teen years I encountered romance in books far more often than I preferred, and sadly, my thoughts often went places they didn’t need to—places that I should save for later when pursuing marriage or already married. As an author, I don’t trust myself to include such things in a story without tempting my readers. Sure, romances are very common in books, if not as the main plot, at least a subplot. But like my dad would say (his dad told him something similar when he was young), just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t make it right.

And here’s the thing when it comes to romantic thoughts—maturities in this area are especially broad among teens. There’s so much changing in the lives of young adults, sometimes quite quickly. One 17-year-old may have dated a dozen people and have the maturity to handle romantic components in a story, whereas another 17-year-old might find it tempting or unsettling.

So I err on the safe side and pretty much completely leave out romances. My teen characters won’t be touching and kissing or even looking at each other and thinking about each other’s looks and such. Some may say this is unrealistic, because we’re all wired to think romantically. But like I said, I’d rather leave that discussion to a teen’s parents and mentors—those who know them best and how to guide them in this area.



Biblical Themes

I am a Bible-believing follower of Jesus. His word teaches His followers should proclaim Him and build others up in the faith. And so my stories attempt to do that. My stories won’t portray a “Christian utopia” where everyone is sweet Christian facing few challenges. But my stories will be written from a biblical worldview and include some characters who passionately live out their faith in God.



Final Thoughts

I believe storytellers almost always have another option to achieve the purpose of potentially objectionable content. Is the foul language to show that the villain is upset? Instead of offensive language, he could pound a fist or yell. Is the gory, bloody knife fight supposed to create tension and intensity? A well written fight scene doesn’t have to be gory to be intense; a wise use of layered tension and stakes can create plenty (if not more) of intensity. Is the goal to show that a man’s wife is beautiful? An idea is to focus words on her countenance and hair and even the color of dress without evoking thoughts that aren’t healthy outside the marriage context.

Some might say I’m unnecessarily limiting my writing or believe stories should have leeway because they’re an art form. I would say that, most importantly, I’m accountable before God to communicate edification to others (and besides, where in the Bible is an exception made for art?). It’s not always easy to do, and I certainly don’t do it perfectly. But I’m certainly trying.



If you have questions or need clarification on any of these, feel free to contact me and ask!

– Jeremiah Friedli